utterly - 2006-03-07

i'm back - 2006-02-27

bend and break - 2004-12-16

how precious - 2004-11-29

baaa - 2004-06-24
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utterly----2006-03-07

I'm not sure why it has to be like this now. He liked me soo much before, and I held him at a distance. And now, here we are, at what should have been the best time for us, perhaps, and we are falling apart. Why can't they just like me back when i like them? He chased me for months and now I'm finally into him and he is tired, or bored, or i'm not pretty enough. and i know those are the wrong things to say and think. I know that God is trying to teach me patience, and peace and hope and trust and that my worth rests in Him and no where else, but its so hard. To be so pretty and lovely to someone one day and the next be so utterly uncaptivating. It hurts. It hurts sooo bad. I don't really think he's the "one." I'm not ready to find the "one" or to be anybody else's "one." is that such a bad thing? I am ready to grow and learn and trust and love. how long is this gonna take, how much more is it going to hurt?

 

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